Saturday, November 3, 2001
12:49 a.m.

Past midnight, whaddya know

This was in my referrers; needless to say, it didn't refer me at all. We're more looking at "[...] Euripides, Georges Bataille, Klaus Theweleit, Wilhelm Stekel, "insane" texts from the Prinzhorn Collection in Heidelberg, Valerie Solanas's SCUM Manifesto, Joan Nestle's Femme-Butch texts, Pat Califia, Jeanne Cordova, Barbara Duden, Mary Maclane, Aimable Jayet, Sei Shonagon." It's telling that I can think of a dozen webfriends off the top of my head who might have been reading me concurrently to this play. ^_^;

I watched "Time and Tide" tonight. I feel much better now: I may be in deadline hell, but Nicholas Tse had a far worse night than I did. XD From the asskickings he received during the course of the film (a pistol-whipping from a lesbian cop here, a gassing from a South American mercenary there), you'd think the boy owed Tsui Hark money... If you haven't seen this film, now would be a good time to rent it. The plot *does* make sense, no matter what the reviews say, and it raises the bar of Personal Badassedness a hefty notch - although, er, not in relation to Nicholas Tse. Not too many action movies I watch leave me repeatedly incredulous, gleefully boggling that *that* just happened on-screen... I *wish* I could write something like that, I tell ye, but I'm afraid it takes a camera. North American ratings boards treat extreme violence as analogous to explicit sexuality: a ridiculous comparison from a censorship POV, but less so from an authorial one. As the key to sleek modern pop is Production, the key to both exciting death and exciting sex is Choreography. By which you may infer that the major action scene in tBD is looming on the horizon... As for the *other* one, I've decided to call it "Revolving Doors". I wrote several paragraphs of it the other day, and it was all about doors. It also exhibited an alarming tendency to fall into "Dawn"'s disconnected-mini-chapter-vignettes-interspersed-with-flashbacks-in-reverse-order structure, which to my disbelief appears to be my default FF7 fic mode. (Reason #57 not to join Nanowrimo: all my tricks are short-story ones for condensing more meaning into fewer lines. I don't know any *novelistic* ones for graceful digressions and lengthy build-up. My instincts will leave me with a fifty-page novelette.) I do hope it's not going to be abstruse. That would defeat the purpose. Although considering that R and S are not so much kindred spirits as they are fraternal twins separated by an accident of quantum physics, some level of reconditeness as a buffer is inevitable.

...Not in the fic! I don't mean in the fic! Dear saints, no. T_T It was an observation on fanonical character issues. If the Reno-ster has a canonical eye colour, BTW - superdeformed polygon-lacking pixel person that he is - now would be a good time to inform me, or I'll be liable to make something up.

Had a few words on the yaoi-as-BDSM thing, but I'd have to poke at the ideas a bit more. Something to do with CLAMP, and how their m/m is *very* seme/uke but their f/f isn't remotely role-defined... What to say about Saya and Tooru? Sonomi and Nadeshiko? Kendappa-ou and Souma? (My favorite, and the one where I throw up my hands, as I can't even rate them on a numeric scale of anything. Kendappa-ou is the cleverer one, is as far as that goes, clever enough to pass as a airhead even with half the fandom.) Someone get further down the court so I can pass this ball.

I need to link up some of the livejournals I read. I'm not part of the system, though, so it's a little more roundabout than it should be.

 

Friday, November 2, 2001
05:42 p.m.

For lo--

Tropper is a merciful man - I have an extension until Sunday midnight sans point deduction - look for me not. This is worth 30% of my term mark, and it's going to take until then. X_X

 

Thursday, November 1, 2001
10:19 a.m.

'Tween waking and sleeping

Last night, floating in the hypnagogic moment before sinking into deeper waters, it came to me that not a one of the 3,570 (I approximate) SH-related 'blog entries I read yesterday mentioned the possibility of Mycroft/Sherlock slash. ...Yes, I'm just determined to prove that I'm more twisted than the lot'o'you. PH33R |/|3, P30||.

I'm glad people are talking about classic detective fiction, whatever the reason, because the associations for me are so pleasant. There *was* a time in my life when I was picked up by my grandparents in mid-afternoon, watched an hour's worth of telly-anime with cake and a bottle of fizzy spring water, and the rest of the evening was for Conan Doyle... I'll refrain from running prolix on what Holmes meant to me as a child, because in my current state of mind I'd probably start blaming him for my extreme pickiness in real men. ^^; Eventually we moved on to Agatha Christie, George Simenon and then to Dorothy L. Sayers. San-Antonio, if that counts. Now? life has gone downhill, I tell you.

 

Thursday, November 1, 2001
12:30 a.m.

Hayaku hayaku

So truly does Fiona speak. *I* should follow these rules; you'll note that I'm blogging past midnight again, notwithstanding... As for Holmes/Watson slash (too many blogs to link gracefully - dear lord memes are viral), I've actually read through some in the past; in conjunction with P.G. Wodehouse slash I might add. The mind couldn't deal with it properly. The Conan Doyle that is. The Wodehouse went over surprisingly well. But I read the Sherlock Holmes novels for the first time when I was four, in Chinese translation, and my mental image of the canonical Watson hasn't changed appreciably since. ^^; Slash doesn't fit anywhere in't: there's a man I'm sure stays faithful to the memory of his dearly departed and wears the Victorian sort of buttoned wool drawers as underwear... I *have* had to revise my image of Holmes, or rather what sort of man that image conjured. When I was four I didn't really get the brooding or violin-playing or shooting up, other than face-value as the habits of this very cool and clever main character I was fond of. I reread the full set as a teen and the extent of what I hadn't understood shocked me. It shouldn't have, mind you, but I have a habit of assuming that I was mentally the same person in kindergarten as I am now... Of course all this is fully dependent on "dear old Conan Doyle"'s actual books. Some of the modern telly/novel deconstruction takes on the legend are quite quite different in atmosphere; throw manga into the mix and fancy wanders ever free. You won't hear me complaining about Holmes BL done up à la Higuri You, even were it only in Sarah's restless nap-dreams. ^_^ (Do I *ever* know those well. Have I mentioned the one in which I met the anthropomorphic personification of Syphilis, in the manner of des Esseintes? I went one better than him; I had tea with it.)

And there never was enough Moriarty in the thing for my taste, all canon-reappropriation aside.

(Sarah, while we're on the subject - do I recollect correctly that Higuri-sensei found it necessary to write a happy ending into Choderlos de Laclos, or has the old brain finally gone?)

 

Tuesday, October 30, 2001
06:34 p.m.

Twiddling with OpenGL

I'm humming under my breath, a little Hojo-esque song. Today I tessellate a Bezier surface - tomorrow I tessellate Sydney Losstarot! ...Well, perhaps not. But a girl has to dream, and sometimes she dreams of working for Square. I can't quite get the mouse to pick up the control points properly, though. That's the biggest problem so far, everything else's been candy. Dudek, too, improves upon acquaintance, even if he does assign twice as much work as credit demands. I'm seriously considering asking him to overlook my Honours project. But don't you love it when you take your code to the professor and *he* has to be the one to tell you that the dots don't animate smoothly because you're doing an integer instead of a floating-point divide?

I got a borderline A for the texture generation project. Not too shabby for documentation written up after eighteen straight hours of debugging.

Speaking of Sydney and graphics, something that I've been pondering recently. 'Twas the Final Fantasy movie that brought it home to me, I guess - so much of the characters in these latter-day games is motion-capture. Somewhere out there is someone who stalks (across a stage, perhaps) like Sydney, someone who crosses his arms like Seifer, someone who ducks her head to laugh like Quistis. And if you saw them on the street at that particular moment, would you turn around and stare, wondering what it was about that person that seemed so familiar all of a sudden and if you know them from somewhere...? The more I work with these damned machines, the greater a respect I develop for the human brain, so perfectly attuned to variations in the natural world that are impossibly complex to describe numerically - with equations - algorithmically - well. We'll do it by accident one day. There's networks, see. I make a point of going to networks, because it's a project course and I don't have to take notes during the lecture; it amounts to being reassured twice per week for ninety minutes at a time that it's not just me, no one really knows how the damned thing works anymore. Routing on the big I has gotten to be a black box. We know it gets there, but we don't know how. ^_^; It could be Djikstra's shortest-path algorithm, it could be the loa, it could be Lain. I'm seriously considering setting up a joint shrine to Lain/Satsuki/Ed/anyone else I can remember who may be able to intercede for me with the Gods of TCP/IP, whomsoever they might be: frame a few pictures, burn a few tapers. Say the first two dozen digits of Pi on a rosary. We need all the help we can get these days.

Liz-san: I *do* know who you are, y'know. ^_^; You've mailed me, I read your log on a semi-regularish basis for the ficsnips. You don't have to link/de-link me out of politeness - follow your organizational policy, whatsoe'er it might be. IMHO it's more about convenience than a gesture that demands to be reciprocated: visit a site more than once or twice and it's nice to have the link somewhere I can get at it easily. I just added all my referrers at once because they *are* mostly whom I end up reading (it's how I find'em, usually ^^;).

Apologies for all the computer talk, by the by, and *especially* for yesterday. Conclusive proof that I should not drink Coca-Cola after 6PM, even if I were going to program all night. I am rather percolating, though, the thought of an AI to which one could feed character statistics and a history of personal preferences, and that would eventually be able to deduce upon demand which pairings are on crack... But if it were a yuri or het couple, would I still set the same data-structure pointers for seme and uke? (*Can* one say, for instance, that Haruka is seme and Michiru is uke?) Something to ponder once more.

 

Tuesday, October 30, 2001
02:00 a.m.

Minor tweaks

Played with scrollbar colours, added referrers. I have more than I thought; I suspect I missed a couple. You could always mail me - or I'll wait for you to turn up on my stats page. :P

To understand the following, a bit of background on the manner in which I normally partition my fictional universes. ...I don't. I'm far too lazy to define new world parameters for every other fic I write, so unless events in two stories directly contradict each other (viz. MitM/Ofuro, on purpose), they can be assumed to form part of the same universe: insofar as they involve characters from the same series, irrespective of mood, setting, crossover factor or presence/lack of sexual activity. If one thinks hard about this it becomes amusing, because - to take one instance - MitM is in the same universe as "Midsummer Moon" by way of "The Lay of Nine". "Demi" is in the same universe as "By The North Sea", much as it might seem otherwise, and VoT is *also* in the tLoN universe (although the gen WKfic connector dots have yet to be drawn there). It really *is* one big instance of Random Crossover Hell, except that I mask out the bits I don't want at the time of writing, so to speak.

However, Untitled Redhead Fic (I'm tempted to make a dirty pun on the title of a Douglas Adam novel, but will refrain) poses a problem, because of the Reno-ster. You'll notice that I haven't mentioned "Dawn". That's because I wrote myself right out of what I consider the proper parameters of my FF7 universe in pursuit of said fic's semblance-plot, and now it's AU to an as-yet non-existent fictional universe. It wasn't, in other words, intended to be what it *became*. My writing suffers from this issue rather rarely, and the impertinence of it irritates me to the nth degree. All Rufus's fault too, needless to say. What to do?

Then the patch came to me:

#include <yaoi.h>

int main (int argc, char *argv[])
{
...
   chara Rufus;
   chara Sephiroth;
   chara Tseng;
   chara Reno;
   chara Rude; /* et cetera */
   ...
   if (!strcmp(this_chara->id, Sephiroth->id) || !strcmp(this_chara->id, Tseng->id))
      {
         Rufus->posflag = UKE;
         Rufus->current_seme = this_chara;
      }
   else
      {
         Rufus->posflag = SEME;
         Rufus->current_uke = this_chara;
      }
      ...

...You can't even see what Rufus has to do with it, can you? ^_^ I won't write the entire fic in c, don't worry. For one thing, I'm still not sure of the contents of the header file - although I believe the ANSI standard defines UKE as 0 and SEME as 1. Or was that the AMLA standard? I expect you can tell how tired I am.

 

Monday, October 29, 2001
03:02 p.m.

Forgot this one

Regarding Ayu vs. Hikki, I'm with Hikki. (Most of Hikki and very little Ayu compared to total output, to be precise.) That should be the last of my regrettable stances on usual controversies... I'm looping Utada Hikaru's cover of "Close To You" on 'Amp now - that's available here, along with the OP to the new Fruits Basket anime. Her pronunciation's impeccable (it had better be, she's from NY), a rare blessing in jpop.

Tenshi be afflicted with Suikomuse. It *is* like a soap, only with less amnesia... the Dys-series attraction magnified by that of RCH. I rather admire people who can come up with a Musespace mansion on demand; I try to do it as an exercise, all I get is a studio lot. With soundstages and trailers and Nuri-chan in a floppy beret, running about with a clipboard and a bowl of popcorn. I have a directorial streak a mile wide, mind you. I think it came packaged with the scribble-talent and grandpa's nose. Everything interesting about me is genetic: keeps me humble and unrebellious.

Oh, and "The Color Of Joy" finally has a webpage. That would be post-series Schwartz and more Cantonese than could possibly be good for you. I confess that I mentally cast my favorite Hong Kong actors as the OCs, which made life *really* interesting circa part 6... Sionna should sign up for Nanowrimo, ship the result to an agent and make herself some money. Her alternate history of Farfarello is too nifty for words, Changeling-LARP though it might scream.

The infamous Redhead Fic may yet be written, BTW. If only to prevent the bunny itself from growing beyond all bounds. This is one story that *doesn't* need to develop a plot, no matter that R and S have traditionally liked to present me with faits accomplis. And, of course, it's bound to be popular. Kekkai has a stats page, I *know* what you like to read - ya hentais.

 

Sunday, October 28, 2001
08:52 p.m.

Three minutes' worth of social

Kristin-san: points docked if I were on the panel, I suppose - but they don't let monomaniacs take part in the judicial process, and for good reason. XD It's funny, because I couldn't care less usually who's on which side of the slashbar; I just had to turn intractable for a pairing and a fandom where the point is moot to everyone else... It's not more than .1-.2 on the figure-skating scale of 6 for you, anyway, because you're one of the writers in whose work it matters less.

Sarah: six pages of the one doujinshika out of - what, 120? There's some pretty art, but not all the jokes are quirky. ^^; (Thankee back for the chuff-piece in the guestbook, btw. It's always nice to know that I'm not making a *total* idiot of myself when I crib stylistics off Raymond Chandler...)

Archived. For those of you just joining us, old MP3 links work for at least a week ensuing, or until I bother to file them away on kekkai. For the upcoming holiday, you get two extremely disparate tracks off Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads". (Not "Song of Joy" - I find that one a bit much even for Hallowe'en. T_T) Additionally, you could tiptoe over to Rin's site, where she currently has a couple of Lucifer Luscious Violenoue singles up. (Those not acquainted with visual-kei j-rock can quirk their eyebrows *after* they've seen her.) "Lucifer to iu na no o-ningyou" has got to be the second-creepiest song I've heard after "Song of Joy", and I'm not even scared of dolls. If I were I'd cry. Great song, mind you... but dear saints, are we *ever* goth.

Also: this site has the b-side of the Noir OP, this other has the dance remix (I like Ali Project, so sue me), and Luthien has a track off the new Nicholas Tse album produced by moto-Luna Sea no Sugizo. The song is quite good, but mostly this is a happy thought for me because I get to picture them in the same room, tweaking knobs and so forth. Like Random Crossover Hell but more innocuous. (Sabina won't write Real People Fic - not because they're Real, per se, but because I don't know enough about most celebrities to create a satisfactorily rounded character. One could always try one of those who keep weblogs... Disturbing thought? You bet.)

Visit

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MP3s

Song :: Where The Wild Roses Grow [ download ]
Artist :: Nick Cave (duet with Kylie Minogue)
Genre :: lush, spooky ballad
Comments :: If you lived in a part of the world where Kylie Minogue enjoys popularity, you'd be royally sick of this song (and the video too). If not... listen very carefully to the lyrics. Nick Cave's one of the few songwriters who're storytellers as well; little tales of beauty and horror that stay in the mind.

Song :: The Curse of Millhaven [ download ]
Artist :: Nick Cave
Genre :: XD
Comments :: Let's dissect the impact here: a combination of musical style (polka), narrative (small-town serial-killings), intent (satire), POV (first-person schoolgirl) and vocals (Nick frothing at the mouth and biting heads off live chickens). The chorus runs "lalala-lee, lalala-lay." Memorable is... an understatement.

Profile

name :: Sabina

age :: hatachi ^_^

appearence :: [ natsuyasumi ] [ matsuri ] [ locker ]

sibling :: [ imouto-chan ]

domicile :: Montreal, where it snows in April, 16-yr-olds barhop and large bookstores carry manga in French

birthplace :: Shanghai, the city where they'd do anything (as opposed to Beijing where they'd say anything, and Canton where they'd eat anything ^.~)

alma mater :: McGill University

occupation :: studious coding, occasional ficcing, webmistressing

indulgence :: novels, manga and anime, fanfiction written and read, MP3s, sleeping at odd hours, alcohol, mooching food, cooking

sign :: Pisces ascendant Venus + Metal Rooster = nasty chimera critter

keirsey :: iNTp (Engineer)

colour :: on me, lilac, violet, forest green and black; on others, whatever brings out the shade of their eyes and the highlights in their hair ^_^

perfume :: Annick Goutal Eau d'Hadrien, Yves Rocher Orchidée, Guerlain L'Heure Bleue

flower :: intense, fragrant and seasonal (apple, lilac, magnolia, peony)

jewelry :: silver anklet

gem :: amethyst (birthstone), opal, moonstone, cat's-eye agate

season :: summer

animal :: Felis domesticus (a terrible misnomer). I live to be happily downtrodden by that privileged species :p

voted (by guy-pals) :: Washu

voted (by gal-pals) :: Crawford

guardian angel :: Tzaphkiel

anime series :: Berserk, CLAMP Campus Detectives, Card Captor Sakura, Cowboy Bebop, Escaflowne, Gundam Wing, Legend of Galactic Heroes, Rurouni Kenshin, Slayers, Shoujo Kakumei Utena, Trigun

manga series :: Angel Sanctuary, Basara, Five Star Stories, Fushigi Yuugi, Blade of the Immortal, Petshop of Horrors, Slam Dunk, X, Yami no Matsuei, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Zetsuai/Bronze

ficcing series :: AS(?), FF7(and the rest?), FY, GW, Trigun(?), WK, YYH, Z/B

music :: Baby V.O.X., Bran Van 3000, Nick Cave, Cibo Matto, Leonard Cohen, DEEN, Melissa Etheridge, Fantastic Plastic Machine, Gackt, Garbage, Globe, Guniw Tools, Oliver Haze, Kanno Yoko, Laruku, Gigi Leung, Lili Fatale, Sarah McLachlan, S.E.S., the Tea Party, Teresa Teng, Two-Mix, Uematsu Nobuo, Utada Hikaru, Faye Wong, the Yellow Monkey and various singles 'n' soundtracks

books :: [ partial list ]

non-alcoholic :: bubble tea, Coca-Cola Classic, Brio (viva Italia!), hazelnut coffee, peach Snapple, chai latte, pink grapefruit juice, green tea absolutely anything

alcoholic :: rum-and-Coke, gin-and-tonic, Irish cream, dark sherry, warm sake, Alsacian rosé, Hungarian white, gold tequila, merlot, cassis in sparkling wine

happy :: to know that one is living a moment of intense perfection; the sensation of drowning in beauty. Also, getting a favorable blurb on your work from a writer you yourself respect *^_^*

sad :: that time is slipping through my fingers, that there is nothing I can do to stop it - and that perhaps it is my fault

Contact

ICQ :: 67820805

AIM :: WingPetronia

Layout

Credit for this one goes to Tan-chan and her copy of Ja!Weiss #4 (I hail thee O volume of the unbreakable spine). I'd honour the doujinshika as well, if I had any idea how to pronounce her name kanji: she had about a dozen strips in the book altogether, and I liked her style immediately. It's... offbeat. Pointy-scribbly art, slightly wacked sense of humour. Like a college-paper comic - except with Schwartz. :P I didn't get all the jokes, and I couldn't translate all the ones I understood properly, but what can you do. And for some reason, the image of Schuldich and Crawford shopping for jumbo packs of single-ply at Wal-Mart strikes me as *extremely* funny...

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